Friday, November 16, 2001

Dave and I went to the...Nutty Brown Cafe for lunch. Black penile jokes aside, this place has the rustic charm of, let's say, a rusty nail. Hoisted outside the faux-19th century frontier is a huge Neon Cowboy "hooping and a hollerin" as my boss says.

Restaurant Review:

When you and your date park your car in the mud parking lot adjacent to the gravel, you will be amazed at how much everything resembles the set from 'Little House on the Prairie', especially the LCD Register, waterproof speakers and of course: The Crab Claw Game (More on that later, readers!). The wait staff is exactly what it is, a staff of people that make you wait.

When you and your date are promptly escorted to your table by the biker chick, please remember The Nutty Brown Cafe does check your ethnicity before placing you in the corner. Most men of 'brown' coloration are typically put near the kitchen, where the applications are, while for those brothers of color, expect to be seated somewhere near the exit. WASP? Shoot, the sky's the limit!

The food is impeccable. Like all the finest cafe's of Paris, you know the cuisine will be of the highest caliber when you hear nothing but talk of "roach baits" and "fly paper" being emitted from the kitchen area. A nice glass of wine? Nutty Brown has that, in spades. Choose from their "Thunderbird" or "Franzia" list and you will surely agree that Detroit is the Napa Valley of Michigan. During my last visit, my lunch guest, David, had the Cedar Valley burger. Juicy, tender, nicely crisp from the grill but alas, the patty was cold. Is this how the French eat it? I had the Number 4 Grilled Chicken Sandwich, named after a Swiss mountain range, which was delicious. It was all I could ask for: The Meat was cooked and the vegetables appeared to be fresh.

The Nutty Brown Cafe prides itself in old tradition and contemporary cuisine. You and your date can have some excitement playing The Crab Claw Game. Named after the great Portugese Navigator, The Crab Claw Game resembles a "Toy Crane" machine, but with an enclosed aquarium full of crabs. Use your imagination to figure out what the prize is! Lot's of fun when you're in a committed relationship on a budget.

For dessert, quickly asked for the check, because nothing is as sweet as seeing The Nutty Brown Cafe in your rear view mirror. Bon Apetite!
posted by HZA | 2:04 PM | email | archive