Sunday, May 26, 2002

Female Candle Chromosome found. Alluded by scientists since the founding of The Candle Factory and ending decades of scientific debate, the unveiling of the Candle Chromosome sheds light on human female biology. Found in virtually every single human female, this unique chromosome is inherited directly from the mother, yet sometimes found in homo-sexual males (known as XYC males).

"The urge to purchase, stock and decorate with candles in females can be traced back to this particular chromosome. It now explains these activities are more than a sociological factor, but more of a natural occurance and mandatory for human females." explains Agnus, the country store clerk at The Cracker Barrel. "This also explains why some tend to purchase votives or pillars. But hey, i'm no scientist."

Dr. Hassad Junabin of the Mt. Senai Medical Research Hospital added, "As groundbreaking this finding is, this still leaves many questions to be left unanswered. I'm still searching for the Bridget Jones Diary chromosome and the Rob Thomas of Matchbox20 protein."

Behold, the mysterious Candle Chromosome found in females. Thought to be directly related to the female obsession of Candles and other flitty-iness. Believed by Western Medicine as a female deficiency, now appears to be validated by new data.

posted by HZA | 11:16 AM | email | archive