Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Keith Richards unearthed in Cairo, Egypt After a 6-month excavation, Egyptiantologists finally unearth a mummified Keith Richards. CAIRO, EGYPT - Ahmad Surtain, famed Egyptiantologist of The University of Cambridge, has every reason to be excited about his latest excavation. "This perfectly preserved mummy dates back to 3rd Intermediate Period. More than likely, this mummification of Keith Richards could of possibly been alive during the reign of Pharoah Cambyses." Noting the ritualistic pose given to the corpse, Surtain also added, "[his] body seems to be in a state of 'rocking out'. Whomever performed the mummification process obviously gave him a striking 'guitar lick' like pose." "It's generally regarded in the community that Keith Richards most prominent guitar lick came from 'Satisfaction'." Surtain said, "but this is now proven false. We can tell from this leathery cadaver that the ancient Egyptians obviously thought 'Jumping Jack Flash' had a more kick-ass riff." Ahman Surtain and his team hope to find the burial site of Jesse Helms within the next few months.

posted by HZA | 11:52 PM | email | archive