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Tuesday, April 15, 2003
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Recommendations on a new government. The interim Government process is underway in Iraq. Here's some useful suggestions:
- Rename Iraq with a much cooler name, like "Middle Earth", "The Lands of Xananth" or "Magic Mountain".
- Congress shall be created from the winners of a huge tournament style wrestling competition, with cage match.
- Laws requiring hands to be cut off of theives will be reduced to single digit fingers.
- Women will be allowed to participate in Government, holding offices of secretary, officiating and 'that crazy bitch in customer service'.
- Branches of Government will be identical to the Business Branches of Lowes Home Improvment Warehouses, because their stock is doing so good now.
- Make Iraq a subsidary of Microsoft.
- Presidential term will last approximately 30-40 years and will be granted with tyrannical powers.
Why I wish Fry's had a "Fry's Card": Because Fry's carries cool stuff. I swear, if Fry's ever went out of business, so would Method Joe. His entire room has been furnished by Fry's...I can only guess how big his eyes get when he checks the back of the Business Section.
Why I hate Fry's: I really don't like the cavity search station at the exit of the store. Usually manned by two kids from the High School A/V squad, it's just an annoyance because i've already had to navigate their cattle register maze and now this. I understand they have to make sure nobody is stealing..but damn.
Oh yeah, I got a CompactFlash/SD/MS/MMC/SM USB 2.0 Reader from them (I think the manufacturers name is POI). Works like a champ and it's 25 bucks with a 10 dollar mail-in rebate. Speaking of Rebates: They suck. I hate waiting 8 weeks to get my 10 bucks and if it's some off brand name, you'll more than likely never get your money.
More evidence that the White Man is leading us to our doom: I saw a guy with a fanny pack and light pink sweats on at Fry's. No other culture would produce a sight like that. Please, before it's too late, get your white man some new duds.
Song of the Day:
1.) Counting Crows - Sweet Caroline. Ryan Adams cover.
posted by HZA | 9:40 AM | email | archive
