Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Fleas. I was home yesterday and Wally complained to me that he was getting bit by fleas in our house. I guess when you live with two mongrels like Meth and Wally, that's bound to happen, although i've had no such incidents. Him being a white boy however, it doesn't suprise me that he gets mauled by blood sucking insects.

Finance Tips:

1.) How to build Equity into your automobile - Purchase 3 4X6 Fence Posts from your local hardware store. A box of 3 1/4" nails and common household tools will be needed. Inside your car, place the fence posts in four corners of your interior, nail them all the the chasis. Paint to suit. Now you have an enviable piece of equity that you can show off to your friends.

2.) Consolidate Your Unsecured Debt - Keep in mind that banks and financial institutions like to use percentage rates to confuse you. I mean, what the hell is 20% anyways? The key to good credit is buy everything you would ever want NOW and then pay for it over the rest of your entire life. This is called the "fisting" method for financial success.

3.) Home Purchases - Why purchase a brick and mortar home when you can live in a double wide for a fraction of the cost? Imagine your home mortgage roughly the same as financing a Kia Sorento. That's smart business.

4.) Credit Cards - Novelty Credit Cards typically offer the best rates and limits. Try to find something with X2 or Lord of the Rings on the credit card.

5.) Business Investments - When your unemployed brother-in-law proposes a new business opportunity, take it. Later in life, at least you can say you tried the Porno Distribution Racket.

Song of the Day:
1.) The Beatles - Back in the USSR.
posted by HZA | 9:17 AM | email | archive