Thursday, October 23, 2003

This just in!

- MAKUHARI, Japan (Reuters) - General Motors Corp will rename its Buick LaCrosse in Canada because the name for the car is slang for masturbation in Quebec, embarrassed officials with the U.S. automaker said Thursday.

Subsequently, the Cadillac Handjob SUV will be renamed here the States.
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- WASHINGTON (AP) - Federal officials arrested more than 300 illegal workers at 61 Wal-Mart stores across the country early Thursday morning and searched the office of one of the retail chain's corporate executives, a federal official said.

Further findings indicated that Wal-Marts Corporate Finance Officer was indeed, a laborer from Guatemala.
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- CANBERRA, Australia (AP) - Heckled inside and outside Australia's Parliament, President Bush offered a pointed answer to those who say the war with Iraq wasn't worth fighting.

Bush even had a handful of new "material" he tried on the crowd, but most of the Australian Parliament showed up for his older bits.
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- LONDON (AP) - Princess Diana maintained at the end of her marriage that she never wanted a divorce, but said her relationship with Prince Charles had been poisoned by "envy, jealousy and hatred" from his family and friends, a tabloid newspaper reported Thursday.

She's dead. Get over it you losers.
posted by HZA | 2:00 PM | email | archive