Wednesday, January 07, 2004

I'm dissapointed to announce that I didn't make VH1's 100 Hottest Hotties List. I'm not sure who dropped the ball on this one, as I've had my entire staff working almost 24hrs. a day to try to make this happen.

I was a little over optimistic, hoping to land a spot between 50-75, but it looks like i'll have to wait until this time next year and hit the campaign trail again.

I would like to thank my entire Campaign Staff, Permanent Staff and all my ardent supporters for trying to make me a 'hottie'. I can't you thank enough, except I can promise you that I will work twice as hard next year to fulfull both our dreams in making me 'hot'.

With the National Hottie climate cooling next year, a box office bomb from cutie Paul Walker and lagging record sales for hunky Nick Lachey will give myself the extra breathing room for 'hottness'.

Foreign Imports, currently at stagnant levels (proven by such lackluster studs as Colin Farrell and Hugh Jackman), will continue to plummet. My personal advisors do not see any 'hottie' imports from such previously U.S. maligned countries as England or Australia in the near future. This can only secure my goal as to serve your 'Hot Meat' needs.

At this time, we must put partisan good looks aside. We must concentrate on what the public need: more sexalicous people like 'young and fine' Ashton Kutcher and myself.

Thank you.
posted by HZA | 5:16 PM | email | archive