Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Being almost a month married, doth make a man learned. Since our one month anniversary is coming up (obviously important to only the female portion of a married relationship), I thought I'd divulge some wisdom on you single guys, for one day, this will be you:

- When she asks what you want for dinner, a pat on the butt and a "whatever" usually equates to soup and sandwiches. Coincidently, even if you say "Half Inch Quarter Cut New York Strip Steak, medium well with a baked potatoe all the way", it still yields Soup and Sandwiches.

- If she asks you to 'put away your stuff', don't diddle daddle, immediately shove it in the closet.

- When you get home, go directly to the fridge and get a beer. Why? Because it's story time for you buddy--what she bought at the store, what happened at work and something about jeans making her look fat. Oh, I dunno.

- "You're an idiot" is the new expression of affection from your dear wife.

- The only thing you will have from your Bachelor days is the candle she bought you when you were dating.

- Speaking of Candles--be prepared to take a pre-tax hit of 10% of your salary to go towards them. They should go ahead and itemize it under Medicare and Social Security on your pay stub.

- Kiss all your socks with holes in them goodbye! There's no room in the new Marriage Millennium for those things.

- Since it's always your fault, go ahead and screw up everything with extreme prejudice.

Ah, but I jest. Being married is great, and being married to Emily is even better (hey, I gotta kiss up somewhere).

In other news:

1.) Stanford, Kentucky, Gonzaga, et tal. or gone from the NCAA Tournament. Who would of thunk? Stanford's early exit from the tournament easily screwed up my own bracket.

2.) There's more strife in the Middle East, as Israel missles killed the spiritual leader of Hamas. Unease in the Middle East has been so reoccuring in my lifetime that it's become something like natural occurances. Like the tides of the ocean , the changing of the seasons and Bobby Brown in and out of prison.

3.) 'Queer as Folk', the Showtime original series will begin it's 4th Season, while it's supplemental Showtime original series, 'Straight as Hell' debuts this Friday.

4.) More Sports news!: Dow Loses 8, Nasdaq Drops 7. Game 6 of the Wall Street Classic ended with great defense. The Dow's defensive efforts thwarted a fourth quarter comeback by The Nasdaq, forcing a Game 7. When asked about the late fourth quarter heroics, the coach of the defending champs said: "They wanted the win, but I guess we wanted it more."
posted by HZA | 11:18 AM | email | archive