Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Well, it's been one week since we got back from the honeymoon. The most common question i've been asked lately is that if I "feel" any different since I've been married.

The answer is an unequivocal YES!

It appears my balls have begun to recede back into my body and some of my hair has already turned gray. An unfortunate sight to be seen, but also to behold! Other notable changes include: Howling at the full moon, scurrying across the apartment in search of food and my personal favorite, clean underwear.

Now, I really got a freaky story for you guys. I'm not sure if I should really say this, but it is quite embarrassing. Last Friday, in the middle of the night to be exact, I was sleeping on my side and awoke to something "warm" on my backside.

I know what you're thinking: "That's your wife you idiot." but let me say this, unless Emily suddenly shrunk to 10 lbs. and a fifth of her size, it wasn't her. Take a wild guess: Franky (aka The Dog) was spooning me.

I literally woke Emily up and asked her to call her dog to her, because man it was seriously THE FREAKIEST THING I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED, EXCEPT FOR THE TIME AT THE INTERNATION HOSTEL WHERE I HAD TO SLEEP HEAD TO TOE WITH TWO SWEDES AND A GERMAN.

Actually, I never slept head to toe with Eurotrash, but it's plausable. I did get spooned by my own dog however..and that in itself makes me a fullfilled man.
posted by HZA | 11:12 AM | email | archive