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Thursday, September 30, 2004
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Man. I did the most embarrassing thing at work today. We were outside on break kicking a soccer ball around, I ran up to the ball to give it a killer launch before break was over but instead slipped and fell on my ass. Luckily, I tucked my head forward and broke most of the fall with my elbows so I wouldn't slam my head on the asphault. Never the less, I got a round of laughter out of it.
My elbow got bled the f--- up, but I feel fine. This definately ranks #1 or #2 in the list of non-work related injuries at work, up there with:
- When Dex took the football to the crotch.
- When Dave took the baseball to the face.*
- When Albert slipped on the basketball and fell on the same asphault I did.
- When Nick punted the football to Rudy's face.
- When someone hit Jerry's hairy cherries w/a baseball.
* Interesting side note. Dave went to the doctor for that one, and he gave Dave some Nasonex spray to help with the swelling. Dave ended never taking it and gave it to me. I scored some free prescription meds for nothing! How do you spell H-M-O? B-u-d-d-y.
You know, this is the day after I splattered some canned ravioli juice on me during lunch. I had to go to class last night looking like a slob. I was tempted to wear the XXL work shirts that we have laying around, but trust me, I might of as well etched 'Kick Me' on the back of those.
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Whoo Boy. I was just pulling into my garage, blaring the #4 track from The Killers CD, which kinda has a techno-beat to it. Anyways, some of the g@y neighbors heard me pulling in and probably thought I was listening to some 0il C@n Harry's house track, because they gave me a thumbs up. Ugh. It only get's worse when I take the chihuahua (Franky) out. Next thing you know, they'll think Em's a beard.
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The Benefactor. This show sucks. I watched some of it last night and it's worse than The Apprentice. I got an idea, how about a show called 'The Dungeon Master'. You get some people to play a game of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons with Bill Gates. Each level of Bill's dungeon would be a show and whoever lives through Bill "DM" Gates Dungeon get's a million of Bill's bucks.
Instead of voting off people, they'd Roll a twenty sided dice and make a save roll. Please don't ask why I know this. A mid-season twist could be Bill offering $250,000.00 to smell the leading contestant's wife's shoes. If he accepts this weird fetish, he get's the cash and a Rod of Might.
posted by HZA | 4:04 PM | email | archive
