Monday, March 28, 2005

Odd's and Endzz. Wally was cracking me up the other day with this. We were going to Subway for lunch, when I suddenly cranked up the muzak.

Me: "Yo, check it out. I downloaded Duran Duran's Greatest Hits last night. Wild. Boys."

Wally: "Oh man, this is a great song. Too bad they're hanging around teenage boys and acting all g@y in the video."

Me: "WORD."

Wally: "Imagine Simon Lebon (or whoever wrote it) saying, hey guys, I wrote this awesome fucking song about these rough kids who live down by the docks. And then all of Duran Duran is going YEAH!. Then, after they shoot the video and watch it, they're like, Oh my God. We look so g@y. Then the director just shrugs his shoulders."

Me: "I got Girls on Film too."

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The 1BMT3FCU LAN-A-THON. I heard through the grapevine that Em's credit union will be hosting a Lan Party. For those of you that don't know what a Lan-Party is, it's a Nerd Orgy. You bring your computer, hook it up to a network, grab your complimentary Coke/Jolt and play video games until your eyes bleed. Now, this may sound like fun, until you realized you could of done this in the comfort of your own home.

I've never been to a Lan-Party, but I heard there's usually alot of chicks..IN THE VIDEO GAMES! (You knew that was coming).

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Dinner. Em and I finished dinner, which was alot of food for just the two of us. While doing the dishes, I hear her: "LET'S FINISH THIS HUGE CHOCOLATE BUNNY THAT MY MOM GAVE US FOR EASTER. BOTH OF US, EATING THE CHOCOLATE BUNNY. OH, THIS IS SOOO GOOD."

We gorged ourselves and sat like greased pigs, content and wanting nothing more. When we were done, I had a sheen on my skin, much like the sheen on a puddle of oily water. Emily was still as white as she usually is, but her lips were smacked with creamy, milk chocolate.

This reminded me of the time when Em was living with Amy. We all had the hankering for some delicious Dairy Queen Blizzards. I decided to treat the ladies to some malted mixed, frozen, whateverthehell they are.

Me: "I'm going to the Queen' for some Blizzards. What do you guys want?"

Them: "We both want Reese's Blizzards. BUT GET A SMALL. We're on diets."

Me: "Yeah, ok whatever."

Of course, I bought three large Blizzards, like any Card Carrying Resident Alien would. Well, let me tell you, the ladies weren't complaining. They were probably down to the last iota of Blizzard when one of the pipes up:

Them: "Scrumptious. I can't believe this is a small."

Me: "What're you talking about? Those are larges."

Them: "WHAT? Why didn't you tell us?"

Me: "You couldn't tell? They're the size of your midsection."

Them: "Ooooh..I can't believe (slurp, bite) I ate all that Ice Cream (slurp)..you asshole."

Me: "Yeah, ok whatever. Fatties."

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Pictures of my handsome nephew:






posted by HZA | 9:14 PM | email | archive