Monday, June 13, 2005

General Tzo's Chicken. This is a funny story The General was telling me today. He said Mrs. Tzo was cooked some chicken parmesian and when he took a bite out of it, it tasted a little funny to him. She argued with him that there was nothing wrong with it, but Nicky said something like, "I think it tastes funny too."

The Misses got a little upset over the whole incident, so the Nicky tries to save face by saying, "But Mom, I think you're the best cook ever." The General then glares at Nicky and says, "You little bastard, you're going down with me!"

She then immediately assumes he's going to tell me to put on my blog. Hey, when she's right, she's right! Besides, I got reader's who like a good piece of yarn.

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Hell's Kitchen. Have you been watching this? This show is tight--for real! If the show was nothing more than Gordon Ramsey cussing out customers, I'd give it a solid 5 stars.

My ideal show would be a reality tv show based on the life of Ian Ziering. Some possible ideas:

1.) "Who Wants to be Ian Ziering?" - Fifteen contestants fight to be Ian Ziering. I haven't thought about the dynamics of the show, but there will be a rose ceremony.

2.) "Ian Ziering 9-11" - Special Homicide Units get a visit from Ian Ziering to help solve their cold cases. Can you imagine Ian Ziering showing up during a double homicide and saying something Steve Sander-ish? CAN YOU??

3.) "Ian Ziering Lives in your House (and eats your food)" - A show where different households experience Ian Ziering for a week. The beginning will be rocky, but they will eventually come to love Ian, like a stray mutt.

4.) "Diamond Zierings" - A reality show that follows Ian around Hollywood and documents his crazy, extravagant lifestyle. Follow Ian as he eats out, picks up his prescriptions and pays $15,0000 dollars to be bathed in Unicorn musk.

5.) "Ziering into Disaster" - An A&E production where we see Ian plummetting into heavy drug abuse and sadistic sexual fetishes. The only thing he has left is that cherry Corvette from 90210 and the monthly phone call from Brian Austin Green.


posted by HZA | 10:08 PM | email | archive