Saturday, June 18, 2005

It's hot as hell out there, and boy we're going to take it. How much would it cost to have somebody mist me with cool water all day long? As anybody who knows me knows, there's only a few things I hate more than the stifling heat (i.e. idiots). So when it's a balls out 100 degrees out side, we dont's like it, do we? No we don't.

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The Gimp's Wedding: The Next Generation. The General and I have a running bet to see how The Gimp's wedding is going to turn out. The consensus is that it's the event to watch this year, because like any train wreck in progress, there's no way in heck you're going to miss it.

The list of groomsmen reads like the the characters from Hogan's Heroes. I was originally cast as Groomsmen #4, but The Gimp and his Bride to be asked me if I could also be the photographer.

"No problem, but you know, I can't take pictures of myself walking down the aisle."

"Yeah, but you won't mind, would you?"

"Not at all, but you know, I can't take pictures of myself walking down the aisle."

"Cool."

"Yeah,but..."

And so on and so forth. I finally talked them into letting me take just the pictures. Another interesting point I should mention is that the Poyfather will be the master of ceremonies. Since he was accredited by The World Church Online as a certified minister, he's allowed to perform wedding rites. He only needs 5 more hours to do circumcisions.

The General, as usual, got snuffed from the processions. I originally thought The Gimp was going to ask him to man the shrimp station, but he did mention that he'll ask him to be an Usher. Now, let me ask you this, if you're the Best Man in one of your friends weddings and then asked to be an Usher in another, isn't that beneath you? That's like asking Shaq to be the ball boy. Since The General's had a taste of being 'the man', being a 'glorified tour guide' (his own words) doesn't appeal to him.

I could go on about The Gimp's original vision of his wedding, penned many moons ago and involving a monster bash (or a mash), but that's a tale for another day. Until then, excelsior--chumps!.
posted by HZA | 10:07 PM | email | archive