Wednesday, September 28, 2005

New Boss. New Boss looks like James Earl Jones. Seems pretty cool. Here's our top five "If our new boss was a dick" jokes:

1.) New Boss walks in, see's The General and I, then says, "Goddamn, they gave me the coolies."

2.) New Boss walks in, see's the General and I, then says, "Hey, didn't I date one of you ladies in High School?"

3.) New Boss requires a fresh cup of coffee every morning, by one of us. Takes sip, spits it out and yells "Tell your wife less sugar next time."

4.) Drop off fresh load of laundered clothes to the boss, New Boss turns around and says, "Tell your wife less starch next time."

5.) Co-Worker's repeatidly see me running to the parking garage, clutching my books, lipstick smeared across my face and crying.

6.) He makes the General and I wear bra's outside our clothes to prove a point.

7.) Refer's to us as, "Them".

8.) Makes me donate my hair for his toupe'. Looks at the General's hair and says, "If I need any pubic hair replaced, you're up."

9.) Makes us email the entire company directory with the Top 10 things we don't like about ourselves.

10.) Tells us to never make eye contact with him. Or he'll kill us.

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Wedding. My buddy Mouse from my old work is getting married on Sunday and I didn't find out until yesterday. Apparently, the invitation was lost in the mail or they never wanted us to come. The odds are split either way.

My man Albert is getting hitched and is having a Golden Shower on Saturday as well.

Also, my parents are going corporate by having an Aug-Sep Birthday party on Sunday.

Action packed weekend.

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Did you get water for the Hurricane? If you didn't, feel free to laugh at all the idiots that FREAKED out. I am, and every breath get's sweeter and sweeter.
posted by HZA | 10:39 PM | email | archive