Monday, October 10, 2005

"I'm getting robbed here!" That line summarizes The Gimp's bachelor party last weekend. Spoken like a true gentlemen (after his umpteenth lap dance) when there was no more money to spend. T.Diddy loaded us up with somewhere around 4 rounds of tequila shots and The General amazingly hit 5-6 rounds of tequila before retiring to the booth to turn into the "hey, what happened to that guy" guy.

Forced with the painful decision of spending more cash at the joint or rent, The Champ made it abundantly clear what his intentions were. I'm sure he'll be hitting me up for a place to sleep here soon.

At one point, The Gimp was escorted to the stage to be given a good hazing by the staff. At that moment, I was expecting some crazy "Magic" to happen, in the vein of Uncle Joey from Full House. The stripper would pull his underwear up in mock wedgie, keep pulling and pulling, then eventually dumbfounding both the girls on stage. Then Kimmie Gibbler puts her top back on.

One of the highlights of the night was when one dancer came up to us and said, "Hey, you know your one friend? He owes me twenty bucks." Somewhere in the background, The Gimp was making an exit. I think it was The General that coughed it up.

I was sitting there when T.Diddy yelled, "Someone give me a dollar!". He rushes up to the stage, then suddenly get's "cock-blocked" by The Gimp's doppleganger. In defeat, Troy sits down and ordered a round of Tequila, for sweet reprise.

By the end of the night, T.Diddy, The General, Wally Champ and I ended up at Kirby Lane. The General was head down on the table. After a few moments, he lifts his head and has that malaria baby sweat on his face and mumbles, "Where's the bathroom." I told him behind him, but then he said, "Show me where the bathroom. Is." Pulling a Hellen Keller Story on his ass, I led him to the bathroom where he spent a good 30 minutes spending quality time with the disgusting toilet there.

He told me today that he fell asleep on the toilet and woke up to his Wife being pissed off at him. Wally said he woke up early, at 7:30AM, ate his leftover Chinese food, fell asleep again and woke up at 5:30PM. I talked to the Gimp the following Sunday and he said he couldn't remember what happened, but his knees hurts (ha, just kidding).

Great time.
posted by HZA | 7:43 PM | email | archive