Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Biggest I.T. Loser. The gauntlet's been thrown down at work to see who's the biggest loser (in weight). The discussion was thrown around a few weeks ago about how our department had the greatest gross net weight of fatties in the company. To combat this problem, we went on a somewhat strict regiment of 'trying not to eat out as much'. Despite all our best efforts, we didn't quite follow it so the only way to achieve this was actually have some kind of bet in place to see who could lose the most weight.

The goals were set forth: Paul-Tron had to lose something like 30-40 pounds, T.Licious had to lose about 15-20 pounds and I had to gain 2 pounds. The winner gets an all expense paid trip to the Long John Silver's All-You-Can-Eat Fish n' Chicken Bonanza.

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Let me put it out there. The other day, T.Licious was walking in front of me and dropped his keys. He began to kick his keys, but I thought he was going to kick them further out of the way, when suddenly (may I add, while I was walking behind him) bent over to pick them up. Witnesses on the scene claimed to see me give a quick 'pump' at the moment, but I disagree.

What really happened was T's booty lurched out with such tenacity, it appeared to be on a one-track road (to my crotch). I think all claims to the contrary are attempts to mask their own salacious desires for me and put me on the same lurid page as themselves.

Seacrest out.
posted by HZA | 11:43 PM | email | archive